
All fighting is a consensual contest where both parties give their opposite number permission to hurt them;
This post is mostly to help William and Saleh understand my position on Sparring, and why I refer to it as “Play fighting”.
But first, let’s be clear about what “Play Fighting” is and is not.
Play fighting is anything organised that follows a set of rules, even if those rules are unwritten.
“Play Fighting” is a contest with a referee, me, on a Thursday, who has the authority to stop the fight if one participant is taking dangerous or simply unnecessary levels of damage.
Play Fighting is considered complete if one person decides to yield, tap out, or throw in the towel.
Play fighting is a long way from being safe, but deliberate, malicious injury is not the aim.
In Play fighting, just as in all fighting, defence is minimal at best; the goal is to attack your opponent and win at all costs.
The goal is not primarily to defend yourself.
All fighting is a consensual contest where both parties give their opposite number permission to hurt them; there are no surprises, no ambushes.
Usually, the event is planned, expected, and even looked forward to, such as the usual Sparring session on Thursday evening training.
The “Headspace” of a person about to engage in any type of play fighting, be it
a pro-level championship fight, an amateur-level club championship fight, or even just a sparring session at the local Kung Fu School, is completely under the control of the player.
You can have a strategy, a plan of attack, just as in any game.
Violence has nothing in common with play fighting.
Violence is everything else.
In a violent encounter, only the attacker has control of his Headspace, only the attacker has a plan.
This attacker is not interested in fighting; their goal is to dominate and inflict harm, and if possible, to finish this before we know what is happening.
Non-Competitive Martial Arts are first and foremost about surviving this onslaught.
Non-Competitive Martial Arts are about becoming a Hedgehog.
This does not mean that there is no place for sparring in Non-Competitive Martial Arts.
But the training is not about finding ways to hit your partner. The training is about not being hit and then finding ways to turn the tables on the attacker.
To become the attacker, the new man with a plan, who is now the only man with a plan.
The training is about maintaining composure when all appears lost.
And, shock horror, using the things we learn in our everyday training, the way we use them in our everyday training.
When someone attacks us, we do not have the luxury of staying out of range and popping in to strike when we see an opening; that ship sailed the instant the attack began.
Real Violence is fought out in the space between our Ears.
The difference between Fighting and Self-defence is not a difference of scale of punishment or hurt; Combat Sports can and have cost lives, while street-level violence can be survived with only injured pride.
The difference is the aimed-for outcome.
As I said at the top of this post, All fighting is a consensual contest where both parties give their opposite number permission to hurt them;
If you are not planning to be hurt, why learn how to fight?
First become a Hedgehog, and then become a Dragon.














